10 Things To Help You Get a Man

Summer is right around the corner, which means only one thing. IT’S HOOKUP SEASON!! Yup everyone is in the business of courting right now whether they know it or not so it’s best to impress. How might you go about looking more impressive to the male species you may say? Listen to a few words of advice for you and maybe you will get that partner you seek.

10. Get Off The Cell Phone
There is nothing that says “Leave me alone and get the fuck away from me!” more than being on a cell phone in public. I mean if you have a emergency or your trying to hook up with friends, that is acceptable. If you have a man and he is giving you directions then you shouldn’t be reading this anyway because this is for women who are looking for a man and you have one! Being on the phone for long amounts of time not only keeps you from getting approached by the wrong people, it also keeps Mr. Right from courting you as well. So think about that this lonely night before you tweet how bad you’d like to have a lover.

9. Work Out
Now first off I would like to let you gals now that I for one know that women come on all shapes and sizes, I happen to like a wide array of yall 🙂 (No pun intended) I put this one on there because working out promotes many things at once like boosted self-esteem, good health, and also can help you shed a few pounds too if you work hard enough. What I’m saying is it is not all about the look, it also helps you get your mind right. Your setting goals while your in the gym, reaching them, and setting new ones. This is the combination to the Master Lock that is life. On the other hand, hell we fellas are hella visual and like what looks good…we could all use you get a little tighter in areas. Trust me.

8. Ditch The Girls For A Night
You see guys approach women in groups every now and then. At times you may even see this done without the help of liquor but trust me those guys are apart of the minority. It doens’t happen that often so you being in a group though may look harmless to you, looks a little intimidating when a dude is by himself or just plain doesn’t have the flash or wit to make all 5 of your loud friends swoon enough for him to get 2-3 words in his behalf for your hand. There is definitely strength in numbers, but unless your starting a roller derby team, then maybe if you want to get a date it’s best not to hang with a pack of the dateless all the time.

7. Forget Girl Power For A While
Aiite this one goes along with the last, kinda. The thing is the females that believe in girl power and bump Beyonce in their Volkswagens with the afro (secretly, I love females with fros) pumping their fists detesting anyone with a penis is cool…just won’t get you any action. Real talk, this scares men, literally. What can you do with a female that feels she doesn’t need a man? Dildo worship will get you nowhere lady, grab a man, and get a personality while your at it!

6. Watch And Know Sports
Now this can actually go for anything that men like so you don’t have to take this one as literal as some of the others. Knowing something about ones interests turns into common ground, and common ground breaks ice so much better than exagerating the differences. Think about it, who do you think the guy will go for, the girl he has to pretend to like reality tv and shopping all the time with, or the woman who will gladly bond with him on things that he likes every now and then too? Men are simple, we like a variety of very SIMPLE things to: Sports, Beer, Video Games, Competition Of Any Kind, and Other Women. I wouldn’t reccommend you conversate with a guy your dating about other women unless you are VERY comfortable with yourself first, this one may throw you through a loop.

5. Lose The Sunglasses
Aiite so as a guy, I find that the thing I can’t stand is a woman always in sunglasses. Now I know you don’t have pappers on your jock like Beyonce or Lady Gaga so why not show your eyes? Bad enough us guys gotta be the ones to approach, but your gonna make it even more difficult by keeping us from seeing who your physically looking at? C’mon baby, give us guys a break and let us read your soul.

4. Show Cleavage

Now this one is a no-brainer. No matter how much titties you have, show what ya momma gave you! They are a definate attention grabber, and depending on what it is you really want, may help you snag a baller as well. Females that complain about dudes just staring at thier boobs all the time lack personality. Talk to the dude, divert his attention back to whats important, or just be happy you got his attention. At any rate, if you have em, flaunt em unapoligetically and be happy your parents and God blessed you with them. He will definitely appreciate the show and he may even speak up. Don’t take advantage though, if your not interested in the dude, say so, titties are like beer, a good pair will make you do and say some crazy shit!

3. Wear High Heels
The things wearing heels do for your figure and posture go without saying, and if we could, all men would thank you for wearing them whenever you do. These have the be the single most deadly weapons when it comes to hunting the male species. I will put it very simple, when you put high heels on your back gets a natural arch, which makes your booty look bigger, makes calf muscles look more defined, and pokes your tits out further without any surgery. Not to mention it drives men wild! Why do you think there are so many men in the world with a thing for feet? So what your not into feet, it aint about YOU, it’s about getting that man! So, why wouldn’t you want to do this?

2. Learn To Cook, Well
Most men came from a houshold where they were fed, whether it was mom, dad, grandma, grandpa or and aunt or an uncle. What baby do you know can feed itself straight out the womb? I’m not saying you need to be Julia Fairchild, or even TRY to compete with the dudes grandma, but just have a few dishes and continue to keep an open mind to learn more, remember these are your weapons to keep your man out of enemy territory. Food will keep your house together in a big way! A well fed man is your greatest assett and is less likely to cheat yet more likely to have the energy to go bread win so he can eat more. Make sense? It should.

1. Love Yourself
So cliche, but so true. How can you expect to like or love another when you don’t even love yourself. I know it may be hard to swallow, but this is the only one you GOTTA learn to do whether you looking for a man or not. I hope you have taken my simple advice as light-hearted as I did while I wrote it. Hit me up and tell me if any of this crap works. Enough of you hit me back I may see about writing a book. Yeah, right LOL. Read this, love this, spread this.