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5 Reasons Why You Goin’ To Jail, Now! – By: @RookieTV1 (hilarious)

October 19, 2012

Dead Ass: After the bus driver jaxed home girl – females fighting on TV just isn’t as interesting. word to VH1x Oxygen. ~Anonymous FB Friend Of Mine

DISCLAIMER: Dear all real women, the following blog is directed to “Hoodrats” and is not in any way addressed to real women who conduct themselves as such. Consequently all “Hoodrats” please read it and weep lol.

True Story: When I first saw the infamous uppercut video, it only had about 350 views. It’s sad but months and maybe even years from now people will be speaking with friends and ask the question “Where and what were you doing when you first saw the uppercut?” I am joking, but that’s probably going to come true. Just a short time ago 25 year-old Shidea Lane became immortalized in Hoodrat History when a witness caught her on tape getting into a dispute with a Cleveland Ohio RTA BUS DRIVER that ended with a very painful uppercut! Sad to say the fisticuffs was initiated by Shidea, yet many say that the bus driver was wrong and no matter what he should have never hit the lady. I say bullshit and here are my 5 reasons why.

#1. The people that are pulling for you right now are the same dumb fucks that actually think Mitt Romney has a chance to win the presidency. They either haven’t watched the FULL video or are such feminists that their estrogen blocks them totally from seeing what a complete ass you made of yourself “catching it” on the web for all to see. No offense to all that support our man Mittens, but he’s a horrible choice for a president, and no offense to the feminists, but male or female this Hoodrat deserved that uppercut.

#2. Contrary to how you responded on Fox News you took every opportunity to squash what was goin on and pissed it away in the same way 2 Chainz does dollars when he hits the strip clup. The arguement was actually pretty long and any logical person that honestly didn’t want trouble would have backed off and just quietly let their anger subside.

NOTE: Hoodrats can’t do this effectively at all because they must “Keep It Real”. Real classy Shidea, real classy lol.

#3. The bus driver has and will be punished for his actions, but for your actions you pretty much showed yourself to be a person in need of some sort of rehabilitation. Whether it be a course on common sense, or a jail cell with a bitch as your roomie by the name of Rose with a full beard and a dick tattoo on the side of her neck. Lady you need help.

#4. I don’t know how much going on Facebook to brag is going to help your case out at all seeing you are the “victim” here. We can see through you’re bullshit, even people that are not well versed in the ways of the common Hoodrat know this.

#5. Yes, you are a woman but you hit the man first which entitles him to defend himself. You wanna hit a man you open yourself up to getting chastised by that same man. That can of whipass you opened up was for anybody who wanted to quench their thirst for an ass beating so don’t think this is limited exclusive to women.

Meanwhile, both Shidea Lane and Artis Hughes have been charged.

While Lane is accused of choking and spitting on Hughes before he responded with an uppercut, only disorderly conduct charges have been filed against Shidea Lane, apparently because her alleged actions were not seen in view on the video of the incident.

Lane’s charges are a fourth-degree misdemeanor and carry a maximum penalty of 30 days in jail and a $250 fine.

On the other side, assault charges have been filed against Hughes, for his more obvious and visually seen uppercut punch in the video.

Hughes’ charges are a first-degree misdemeanor and carry a maximum penalty of 6 months in jail and a $1,000 fine.

Shidea when you said “It Felt Like I Was On Mortal Kombat” when you received that “Act-Right Uppercut” I respectfully had to disagree. I mean when I saw it all I could think of was being a teen-ager playing Street Fighter and looking at Sagat execute his Tiger Uppercut and think, “Damn, that looks painful. Years later we see it perfectly excuted in real life thanks to your big mouth and an understandably disgruntle bus driver.

TIIIIIIIGER UPPERCUT!!!! Let this be a lesson to all you Hoodrats that think they can take on a man in the ring, when the bell rings it’s all to the good especially in the hood. Smile, you’re on World Star Hip Hop lol! God, that was funny…I gotta pat myself on the back for that one! In closing, I think I echo in the sediments of millions when I ask you, “Did you ever find your ponytail after that uppercut?” Read this, love this, spread this.

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