Skip to content

Fake-Ass Santa Claus Gets Stuck In Chimney While Robbing

December 24, 2011

I hate the holidays for a few reasons: 1. The pressure to spend money I don’t have is so great I feel like I need to pay money for an actual gift. GTFOH! 2. It gets dark outside entirely too fast for me. 3. The news gets so bad around this time. Look let’s be honest, the news isn’t exactly kind to my people during the Holidays when crime spikes during the winter months. Micheal Jordan is a genius! He took his already popular shoe and made it actually “COOL” to buy the old models over and over again. These shoes are affectionately called Retros or Throwbacks. The retros that are out now are the Jordan 11’s or the Concords. The pic below is of not only the shoe I speak of…but MY shoe. That’s right I have the shoes, but I got mine months ago and through the internet.

Below we have a very simple story of an all too familiar occurrence in the “hood.” Jordan has brought out his new-old shoes and the HOOD has to have them. Let’s watch and see how far these poor people go to get some “sole” in their lives.

And now to our top story. You know the story of Santa and how he slides his ass down chimneys to leave toys and presents for girls and boys, right? Well one kid saw the fat man as inspiration. 17-year-old Renaldo Jack an Atlanta-area teen was charged with burglary after trying to break into a Norcross home through the chimney.

I say “TRIED” because he got stuck, and was trapped for nearly half a day. THE FOOL GOT STUCK TRYING TO ROB PEOPLE THROUGH THE CHIMNEY. The bumbling idiot was rescued by firefighters around 1:30 p.m. Tuesday.

Gwinnett County police said Jack had been stuck in the chimney since 3 a.m. Tuesday. Just when you think the story couldn’t possibly get more funny, Jack was also charged with providing false information to a police officer after he gave a fake name to a policeman who recognized him from a prior arrest. This guy must have been in the same class as Wacka Flocka back in the day LMAO! Look, needless to say Christmas is almost here, hours away to be exact, but let me warn you of one thing. Cameras are and will always be rolling so before you go and get your dumb ass on camera for flubbing a robbery or getting trampled at some shoe sale in the wee hours of the morning, stop…think…and for God sakes don’t embarrass your family!!! Stay the HELL off the news people! Read this, love this, spread this.

P.S. Before you wait in line like these poor fucks, remember that you do have lives and responsibilities.

Well, some of you. Jordan shoes are very expensive. Why not think of buying an alternative?

3 Comments leave one →
  1. December 24, 2011 6:18 pm

    This was a good read and nice photos to match. I’m shaking my head at people but… I GOT MINE!

  2. Lou Menace permalink
    December 24, 2011 6:32 pm

    You are a great blogger Rook’. Hilarious as fuck! Then Jord-3’s took my life. Niggas run rampant in this world. “Get Money Boys “? Fuckery at its finest brotha.

  3. Battletek permalink
    December 24, 2011 8:01 pm

    Number 1 them shoes ain’t shit and just wow & number 2 that’s what his bum ass gets for trying to rob people. SMDH

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: